[ full collapse ]

Monday, January 26, 2004

[ we all need a little more room to live ]

You are going to Marry orlando Bloom. He will
always treat you right and is very romantic. He
will do anything for you. He is very polite and
has deep brown eyes and is very good looking
(which is another plus!). He can make anythind
cheesy look really good (like sliding down
stairs on a shield shooting arrows or wearing
pointy ears for example). Congrats!!

Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
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You are Attached-at-the-Hip-With-Billy Dom! You always seem to be hanging around your best
friend, a certain kilted Scotsman. Billy and
you create quite the comic duo. Thanks for all
your lovely Billy-related antics--you two never
cease to amuse your fans. Tig!

Which Dominic Monaghan are you?
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You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying. "And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again." Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian). The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire. Her sign is the eclipsed moon. As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla merry

Congratulations! You're Merry!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
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Fire Fairy

Which Fairy are you?(for anyone many out comes)

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Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone. "When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face." The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love. As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?

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Orlando Bloom

What Celebirty are you going to MARRY?!(14 outcomes with pics for anyone)
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Serious Orlando

What Orlando Bloom are You?
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my thoughts at 02:51 pm by fullcollapse
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Sunday, December 28, 2003

[ like violence you kill me ]

hmm a few days after christmas

i didnt get much...dont care really... past that point

got my digital camera finally... of course steph all of a sudden wants one...typical...

today was jacks bday..18

wasnt invited to go out to eat with him...penis...steph was the only girl...bet she loved it... her and jack broke up by the way...

still dating shaun...

oh yeah i forgot the biggest news of all.... I SAW RETURN OF THE KING DECEMBER 16TH AT MIDNIGHT... I SAW THE FIRST PUBLIC SHOWING...man im cool.. it was awesome... if you haven't seen it, go now or ill hunt you down...

orlando bloom and dominic monaghan... whoa... thats all i can say... i plan on kidnapping them both... so hot...

i also saw peter pan.. i loved it... i think its because i believe in what people would call "fairytales" and "make-believe" and "magic" so what im allowed...

despite the kid who was peter pan being like 12 he was hot. lol

i got buffy season 4 on dvd

john and i still arent talking...

mona lisa smile..good movie. saw it with jessie. we've been hanging out a lot.

dave has called me 2 times over break... weird

i hung out with ashley today.... man i need to start talking in sentences lol...

blah i am too tired to write... i promise to update later..

don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.

my thoughts at 01:12 am by fullcollapse
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Monday, December 08, 2003

[ once upon my nightstand ]

here i am... been awhile since i updated this here blog...

nothing has happened... except the past two weekends i have hung out with john and other people and hes been decent. *happy face* if i only knew what he thought... i wish i could see me thru his eyes...

dating shaun still.. yup yup...

i like shaun a lot and all but nothing compares to john... shaun doesnt know... no one really does... hmmm

ok so went christmas shopping yesterday...

i bought steph a shirt $ 27.00
i bought saba gift bag $ 17.00
i bought shaun cologne $ 26.00
i bought litz b&bw $ 17.00
i bought my mom candles $ 11.00

now i need to get megan something and jessie and my dad...

oh yeah...this girl named brittney, confessed her love to shaun when me and jessie were over at his house. it was last monday, but this chick goes thru guys like they are used tampons. swear to god true story. but i guess shes always liked shaun. like me liking john although the stories are different, shaun never liked her or dated her or anything ....

blah blah blah

thinking about john...
i burnt ocean avenue... shaun never let me burn his cd so i d/l the songs... and i finally put all my brand new on to a cd. hehe

i found acoustic finch. awesome lemme tell you. i love finch...

but on a sad note... my mom wont let me go to the something corporate concert wednesday ... *tear* blah so gay... steph is gonna buy me a shirt. yay!

john's online... poop... this is so hard...

i'm gonna go...

i'm sleeping to give my head a rest.

my thoughts at 10:10 pm by fullcollapse
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Friday, November 28, 2003

[ so sick of being tired, and oh so tired of being sick ]

not too much to talk about really...

worked today only from 11-3... gotta work tomorrow too. same times.

i came home and watched X2 : X-Men United ... in the middle of it saba called me, asking me about a website, and told me i should go to the movies with she and her cousins, but i decided not to, cuz i probably would have wanted to stay the night, and since she had family over, i didnt think it would be cool... but i guess we might go see Pirates of the Caribbean again tomorrow. hehe i love orlando bloom and johnny depp.. and keira knightly is really pretty . lol yeah im a loser....

anywho...

sorry about the last entry.... kinda emo...

shaun andy and adam went to pittsburgh today, wont be back til sunday ... :( kinda sad, cuz i have nothing to do.... and chase and chris and some other people went to detroit to see thursday, thrice, and deftones...so even more people gone... i dunno what stephs up to, probably out with jack or something... this is when i wish i could drive...but yeah oh well...

so now im sitting at home bored... its only 6 so i might wind up doing something but i dunno...

listening to taking back sunday... grr i really wish i could have seen them in concert, but hey thursday was fuckin sweet as hell too..... its just too bad they came only two days apart... oh well... they will be back...

i still havent gotten to hear the new blink cd... even though i dont listen to them much anymore, i still want to have it... i mean they were my favorite band, and its not like i dont like them anyone i just listen to some other stuff. but i will get the cd sometime soon.

i cant wait for christmas.... im getting a digital camera woo hoo... and i think buffy season 4 and 5? i still need to get angel seaons one and two.. and smallville season one... wow man im writing with my eyes closed. i am so sweet. i dunno anyone else who can do this as well as i can .

haha and pople say i dont have talents. i can even walk while balancing a book on my head. and i am still writing this with my eyes closed. woo hoo

ok well i think im gonna go now... maybe ill update later if i get bored or something.. cant promise anything though..

a thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins.

my thoughts at 06:00 pm by fullcollapse
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Thursday, November 27, 2003

[ you're a touch over-rated ]

ok so im sitting here in my room, its thanksgiving night and im sitting in my room, in the dark listening to taking back sunday. i used to do this back in the day, like uhh last january when my parents would go to caldwell to visit my grandparents (RIP) and john would be out somewhere. and i would sit around sad thinking of him. then he would get online and i would be so happy.

what happened to those days...

i miss you...

i set myself up for the greatest fall of all time....

every person i have talked to , thinks theres something johns holding back, trying to disguise.. like some secret... dave thinks he misses me, steph thinks he has a die hard crush on me but cant deal with it, ryan thinks he likes me, saba thinks he wants me but doesnt cuz everyones reactions, god its just so lame.

im only complaining to keep myself from crying...

im sick of writing every song about you john.... im sick of these feelings i feel for you. i hope you read this, and you feel a burning in the pit of your stomach. i want you to feel what i do. burn like i do. i want you to HURT like i do. so much you cant stand it anymore.

ok so next thing...

my family came up for thanksgiving...

last night shaun and i went to the dollar fifty movies... i paid for him lol... we saw pirates of the carribean... god orlando bloom is the hottest man alive...and even though hes all old, johnny depp looked nice. lol... yeah im retarded....

i bought john his taking back sunday cd....memories ...

all thats left... man im lame...

i need help...save me from the nothing ive become...

ok im gonna go....
but first...THURSDAY IS ON CONAN TONIGHT!! yayayayayayay

so sick of being tired and oh so tired of being sick.

my thoughts at 10:49 pm by fullcollapse
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Monday, November 24, 2003

[ the low fuel lights been on for days ]

so la di da... got in a fight with john... nothing new...told me he hated me cuz i "broke" patty and shaun up. well hes full of shit. i cried so much i couldnt breathe, but he will never know. cuz he wants to upset me, and im not giving him the satisfaction to know that he did.

in other dissapointing news, Ohio State lost to Michigan. damn little fuckers... i think we lost because we had only lost one game going in to it, and we thought so highly of ourselves thinking that we were so great, and we didnt go out and play out best in the beginning. and once we realized they would good, we had a problem. i think they wanted it more than we did. but this weekend, reminded me so much of john. last year at this time, me and him were dating. the day we got in a fight, it had been the exact date of our first kiss. blah ill never understand..

but he apologized for saying shit to me, but he was like that doesnt mean i like you. i was like ok???

people think he still likes me. blah fuck it.

i realized, that if i let him back into my life someday, he will remember down the road, that i forgave him twice after he tore me to pieces, and he would just think "oh its ok she will always be there and forgive me" well i wanna show him that i wont be. but i dunno when that day will come. but then i was thinking i am not strong enough to say anything. hes so much to me, and yet he means nothing.... grr

oh and dave... hmm check out this convo...

Dave: hows ur b/f doing?
Me: i don't have one of those sorry
Dave: then what's shaun?
Me: i'm not sure
Dave: you are such a confused individual
Me: but hes not my boyfriend, i told him i didn't want a serious relationship right now
Me: yes i am
Dave: that's why we didn't date;-)
Me: hmmm
Me: i'm really not that confused
Dave: are you trying to imply something?
Me: i don't think so... what did you think i was implying
Dave: i think you want me;-)
Me: is that so
Me: why would you think that
Dave: yes
Dave: cuz u always get mad at me if i act like i'ma kiss you and don't
Me: oh i see
Dave: do you miss me kissing you?
Me: what kind of question is that
Dave: well
Me: well
Dave: answer my question
Me: i dunno
Dave: answer it;-)
Me: sometimes
Me: happy now?
Dave: yes
Me: ok, so what was the point in that question..
Dave: just curious
Dave: cuz i enjoyed it a couplee weeks ago
Me: oh

hmm yeah so i dunno. but im gonna go.

you're just jealous cause we're young and in love.

my thoughts at 10:33 pm by fullcollapse
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Monday, November 17, 2003

[ additional thoughts ]

As of today, November 17th, 2003 it is exactly 1 month until the third and final Lord of the Rings movie comes out ( Return of the King ) god i can't wait. i think i'm gonna have an orgasm in my pants. ha... yay.

my thoughts at 03:56 pm by fullcollapse
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[ give me space so i can breathe ]

so its monday and i'm sitting here listening to "Space" by Something Corporate... can't wait... December 10th...6:00 at the Newport.. i love them... ok anywho..

Saba and i were extremely goofy today.. i made John's name be Jhon (pronounced jehoan) yeah i know im gay and she is too. and we walk down the hall and who walks out and looks up and down the hall, none other than john. it was kinda weird, i think he knew something was up when we started cracking up. i don't think he knew what we were laughing about, but who knows.

emili thinks he still wants me. i'm really starting to doubt that.

his profile says " Chrissy, i love you ..."....

maybe i'm just chasing the ghost of a good thing ( ha i threw some dashboard in there )

but yeah i dunno..

shaun is sick. he wasn't at school.

blah i don't know what to do about shaun. i love him to death. he is after all my best friend. and yeah i have feelings for him ( which is bad kinda ? ) i know i will wind up hurting him... and i dont wanna do that. hes so in love with me though and im just like dude!!!!!!! back up. he knows that i dont wanna be serious right now. but what he doesnt know is how i really feel about john. i have been lying to him about how i feel about him. hell i even lied to steph. no one really knows how i feel except saba, jess, erin and emili. so yeah. well i'm pretty sure john does, but then again i dunno. maybe he thinks im over him or getting there. but deep down i bet he knows im not....

but yeah creepy...

i have to go find some food before i die.

later.

you'll always be my konstantine.

my thoughts at 03:49 pm by fullcollapse
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Sunday, November 16, 2003

[ my world crumbles when i look in your eyes ]

ok well i dunno what im writing for.

i have been thinking a lot lately... about john.

he hurts me. and i still dont get it thru my head. i dont get it. i had been doing good. i wasn't thinking about him. i didnt even care. and now i do. i think its because i had a really good dream about him. who knows.

shaun has been gone all weekend visiting family. im happy. i have time to myself. me and him arent going out. i dunno how long it will be til i let that happen. because i dont want to go out with him unless i get this john thing figured out.

blah.. i dont understand..

on another note, jess and i are worried bout erin. enough said.

blah i dont KNOW!!!!

i like john a lot. but is he worth it. maybe someday down the road things will turn out right. but how long?

hmm...

thinking too much...BAD.

did anyone ever wonder if they met someone too early in life. like maybe they weren't supposed to meet until later and things would work out. i constantly ask myself, if maybe down the road i will understand and things will turn around. or maybe it wasnt that i met them too early, but its the feelings came too early. hell if i know. blah...

i'm out.

i'm shaking at your touch i like you way too much my baby im afraid im falling for you.

my thoughts at 02:27 pm by fullcollapse
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Sunday, November 09, 2003

[ at your funeral i will sing the requiem ]

holy cow....been forever huh.. i was sitting here and i was like hey, why not update my blog. so low and behold here i am. i don't remember when the last time i updated was... oh i think it was right after the thursday concert...

ok well since then... john and i arent friends... his fault not mine...remember my last entry and my bad judgement that was about john... when we were drunk we kissed. and i made the mistake of calling steph ( while drunk ) and i told her. and i should have known she would tell jack. who blabbed. and well john had liked chrissy then, and he took her to shauns the next weekend and i was just confused why she was there cuz i had forgotten he liked her, and i dunno big mess. so then i had no ride to school and we arent friends. elise takes me now to school. john is a asshole sometimes. but unlike last time, i'm not letting us not being friends get to me. sure i care, but he can suck it if hes gonna be gay like that.

my grandpa died October 27. RIP.... i love him and i miss him.

on trick or treat night john was being a douche... big suprise huh? savannah thinks he still has feelings for me, cuz no one is going to complain about me as much as he did, if he didnt really care about me. its just covering up the feelings. i told her yeah i still have feelings for him, but oh well. saba thinks the same thing as savannah.

oh yeah... shaun and i are talking.... he broke up with patty. but the only thing is, i kinda like dave. i told shaun that, cuz im honest like that. and the other night i kissed dave, and yeah it was just .. i dunno...

dave doesnt want a girlfriend and i dont want a boyfriend.. i mean dating is cool, but im not looking to be in a serious relationship right now.. .and shaun is....so i dunno.... ugh

i want to go somewhere that drama and stress dont exist. i want to look out my window and see the ocean. so relaxing and beautiful.

i have decided i want to go to college in new jersey. but my mom doesnt want me to go out of state. so looks like it wont happen. tomorrow i am going to Kent State with my cousin. she wants to go there and i kinda do too. even though i am only a junior i was like hey i will go visit. plus it gets me outta school.

by the way... school...IS GAY. thats all.

well i think i should go now. dinner time soon. maybe i will update again soon. who knows.

SOMETHING CORPORATE CONCERT DECEMBER 10!!!! i cant wait. :)

and now i finally see that the further we go, we're only treading ground that we already know

my thoughts at 04:59 pm by fullcollapse
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