Saturday, August 30, 2003
[ when i leave will you be one to wipe your eye ]
so i havent wrote in a few days. i haven't been home. i had to work on friday, and friday night, i went and saw my boss's daughter with steph and bransen. you wouldnt think it would be funny at all. but it was hilarious. ashton kutcher is hot too. i stayed the night at stephs.and then i came home today, and went to canal winchester to look at houses with my mom and dad. then we went to eat at my grandma's.. and i came home and i hung out with erin tonight.
john is getting on me to get the madlab pictures developed so i need to do that soon to get him off my back.
RYANPALOOZA IS NEXT SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 6TH!!! BE THERE. IM ME FOR DETAILS IF YOU LIVE NEAR ME.... RUBBERDUCKIE159.
i miss shaun. from what i hear, he isnt thinking about patty much. and that upsets me! ill have a talk with him when he gets back. after i give him a hug and tell him how much i missed him. lol. hes my best friend i am allowed to do that. lol.
BUCKEYES WON TONIGHT! woo hoo. it would be so sweet if we had another season like last season. and we were national champions again. but with whatever is going on with clarett...eek i dunno. all i can think about is john when it comes to thinking of the fiesta bowl. cuz he had come over to jen's where i was, and he jen, shannon ( jen's neighbor) and i went to shannon's house and no one was home because they were all at jen's. and john and i were flirting... and i wound up laying on top of him? i cant remember how, and he was all holding me.. ahh it was great and we started making out and jen hit us with a pillow and was like no more of that. and we stopped and looked at her, then back at each other, and we shrugged our shoulders and went back to making out. lol. that was the greatest night ever. besides the night he sang a song for me at the coffee shop, which is also the night we started officially going out. hehe man i am a loser. i will stop boring everyone who reads this.
you know i only feel this way about one, and you know only my eyes can say what i feel. you are the only one who can tell what i am thinking before i speak. you read the emotions in my eyes, faster than the sky can change. expression is my gift, and i am glad i can share it with you.
sorry i had to put that in there. dunno why, but i felt like writing it .
i wrote this last night.
you get me everytime. everytime i pass you by, my heart lifts a little, and my eyes shine a little brighter.
they arent anything special just had to put them in.
lol alright well i should go. i have to get up early tomorrow to go to a mass an hour and half away because it is in honor of my grandmother who died. or else i wouldnt go. i dont like church.
please dont play with me, my paper heart will bleed
my thoughts at 11:59 pm by fullcollapse
Thursday, August 28, 2003
[ i watch the stars as they fall from the sky ]
FULL NAME: Kaitlin Elizabeth
GENDER: Female
BIRTHDAY: May 25, 1987
BIRTHPLACE: Westerville, Ohio
HOME: Reynoldsburg, Ohio
HEIGHT: 5'1"
EYES: Brown
HAIR: dark brown with red highlights
THUNDERSTORMS- COOL OR SCARY?: Cool
WHAT'S YOU ZODIC SIGN?: gemini
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: yep
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?: half empty
NAME A SONG THAT DESCRIBES YOURSELF OR THAT YOU CAN RELATE TO?: what it is to burn by finch, and about a million others
HAVE YOU EVER SAVED YOUR CHAT CONVERSTIONS?: Yep
*****************FUTURE*******************
SCHOOL?: gotta finish high school, then i'm going to college
WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TEN YEARS?: well ill be 26 so i see myself being married. thats as far as i see.
HOME?: i dont know
NUMBER OF KIDS?: 2
FUTURE DAUGHTERS NAME?: Jamie Alexandra
FUTURE SONS NAME?: Andrew Michael
*************HAVE YOU EVER*************
BROKEN THE LAW?: Yes... no further comment..
RAN AWAY FROM HOME?: yea
HAD A MEDICAL EMERGENCY?: yeah
*************DO YOU BELIVE IN...*************
LOVE AT FIRST SITE?: Yes
GOD?: yea
ALIENS?: yes
HOROSCOPES?: yeah
YOURSELF?: Most of the time
*************WHICH IS BETTER?**************
IN THE CAR...AC OR OPEN WINDOWS?: Windows open
PEN OR PENCIL?: Pen
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?: chocolate
COOL RANCH OR NATCHO CHEESE DORITO'S?: Cool Ranch
MUD WRESTLING OR JELLO WRESTLING?: Jell-O
COKE OR PEPSI?: neither, i don't drink pop
DEAF OR BLIND?: Deaf
ADIDAS,NIKE,OR REEBOCK?: Adidas
BLONDES,BRUNETTES OR READHEADS?: brunettes
TALL OR SHORT?: Tall
TV OR RADIO?: tv
WHITE OR CHOCOLATE MILK?: Chocolate
*********WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...**********
GOT A LETTER IN THE MAIL?: hell i dunno
********************WHAT?***********************
IS YOUR MOST IMPROTANT POSSESION?: my poetry, and the necklaces from my mom and chris, and my things from france
IS THE WORST SONG YOU'VE EVER HEARD: anything rap, its not even singing, and its not music. there are no instruments
WHAT'S THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY?: well it will sound stupid but what dave said about me that i posted earlier, it was last night but it was today. get it?
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP?: john
WHAT'S THE WOST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: losing someone close to you
WHAT'S THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: being held in someones arms and them telling you that they love you and that you are beautiful
WHAT'S YOU FAVORITE NUMBER?: 4 or 9
WHAT'S ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?: pictures of friends and pictures from france, a mallrats poster, the used poster, sarah michelle gellar poster, a bulliten board, awards, a cross, university of rio grande pendant, day before disaster pics
WHAT'S THE WORST THING YOU EVER DID?: ummm well lets say it was illegal and i got caught
********************FAVORITES*******************
FAVORITE T.V SHOW?: Buffy The Vampire Slayer all the way, and then there is Angel, and Smallville, and That 70's Show
FAVORITE SPORT?: Baseball and Football
FAVORITE SHAMPOO?: Pantene Pro V
FAVORITE BOOK?: Lord of The Rings Trilogy, any Harry Potter Book, anything Buffy/Angel
FAVORITE MAGAZINE?: Alternative Press, Seventeen, YM
FAVORITE DRINK?: Water or Lemonade
FAVORITE FOOD?: PASTA....anything italian that doesnt contain meat really. i think its because i'm italian thats the only thing i could come up with
FAVORITE COLOR?: red
FAVORITE SOUND?: music
FAVORITE SMELL?: My french perfume? or Clinique Happy, or Night Blossom
FAVORITE THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND?: go see DBD or 2nd Day play. or sit at home and write my poetry and listen to music, or just go out with friends
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK?: Buffy The Musical lol
FAVORITE MOVIE?: oh god here we go.... Tommy Boy, Mallrats, Lord Of The Rings (all even though the 3rd one isn't out for 111 days i know i will love it ) Harry Potter (same as with LOTR), Star Wars ( all ), Down To You, Now And Then, A Walk To Remember, Dogma, Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back, Chasing Amy, Clerks, Empire Records....and more
*********************IF**********************
IF YOU COULD HAVE A PIERCING WHERE WOULD IT BE?: my eyebrow
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?: ummm interior designer?
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT COLOR WOULD IT BE?: pink
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE?: my lower back, it would be a gemini sign surrounded by stars in a circle
******************DO YOU*********************
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS?: No
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?: yeah
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL, IF SO WHAT?: no
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEY'S: nope
***********************WHO*******************
WHO DO YOU TRUST THE MOST WITH ANYTHING?: Saba
WHO DO YOU GO TO FOR ADVICE?: steph, saba, litz my thoughts at 01:28 pm by fullcollapse
[ all i can do is sigh, and wonder why ]
i didnt want to update right now, because i wanted you to see lovely and gorgeous orlando when you first came to my diary, but i felt the need to put this conversation between dave and i in here....
rubbeR DucKie159: you think im weird.
x2ndDaVeX: yes
x2ndDaVeX: sometimes
x2ndDaVeX: but your the cutest:-D
x2ndDaVeX: your so adorable
rubbeR DucKie159: yay! :-D
x2ndDaVeX: your smile
x2ndDaVeX: i like it
x2ndDaVeX: and your eyes are VERY cute
rubbeR DucKie159: really
x2ndDaVeX: staring into them makes me want to kiss you haha so i avoid it
rubbeR DucKie159: oh i see
x2ndDaVeX: i feel bad kissing you
x2ndDaVeX: i feel like i'm leading you on
x2ndDaVeX: i want to sooooo bad but
x2ndDaVeX: the john thing
rubbeR DucKie159: yeah i know
x2ndDaVeX: did you think anything would ever happen between us?
rubbeR DucKie159: i dunno. i kinda wanted something to.
x2ndDaVeX: ..
rubbeR DucKie159: ...
now dave hasnt said anything in awhile. i am doomed to live a life of loneliness because i am in love with john. no relationship will work out for me. but its ok. because i feel that maybe i'm not supposed to have a relationship right now... i dunno
i put too much hope and too many dreams,
into the skies at night.
i wish on stars that aren't meant for wishing,
i constantly search for the light.
i trust fate too easily,
and that is my downfall,
it will surely be my end,
but i will still stand tall.
won't you just take my hand,
and whisper in my ear,
that fate is on my side,
and i have nothing to fear?
hold me in your arms,
and kiss me on my head,
this is what i ask every night,
right before i go to bed.
ok well i think i will go. nothing good can come out of me right now.
it breaks my heart, and makes me sad, to think of all the times we had
my thoughts at 12:37 am by fullcollapse
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
[ i don't believe that i'm getting any better ]
i'snt he gorgeous?
i think thats enough for now. but don't worry, there will be more. he is my god. he is gorgeous.
sitting here with hopes the phone will ring, and i'm thinking awful things
my thoughts at 07:24 pm by fullcollapse
[ you'll always be my konstantine ]
yeah so yesterday after i wrote my entry, erin, katie, and i went to see if dave( erin's not mine) was still in the hospital cause he got beat with a cane. long story... but he wasnt. and we saw this creepy guy that scared the shit out of us. but yeah...
well then we went to eastland. then we went to thomas' for a little bit. i came home and erin was supposed to come pick me back up when she went to pick jess up from work. well they called me around 10 and they were gonna stay the night and we were gonna get drunk. by that time, my dad had come home with TWO TOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i watched that and waited for them to come over, and they didn't come over after all but it was cool cuz i was walking my movie anyways til 2 am. since you know it is 3 hours long.
today i woke up at 11:30 and watched a lot of the extra stuff from all the lord of the rings dvds. if i had watched it all it would take like 10 hours. because on the special extended dvd its got 6 hours alone. and then on the regular dvds for both the first and second they probably both have 2 hours. so yeah i didn't watch it all. i watched about half of it though. lol
and now i am going to get in the shower.
do you wanna know, what i think of you, cause you're not the way i thought you should be
my thoughts at 04:54 pm by fullcollapse
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
[ just so long as this things loaded ]
i just got home from ashley's. ashley wu came over last night and we went to this guy steven's house in whitehall. yeah it was boring. we went back to ashley's and put red highlights in my hair. i like it i want more. i told john and he was like nice, can't wait to see that.
john is getting an early dissmissal at 5th period. damn him. it was weird he asked me what period lunch i had. hmm i dunno..
then he wasnt talking to so i was like have you ever watched foreign porn with one of your best friends? and he was like no. i was like its fun you should try it. and he was like umm no thanks. i was like you dont masterbate in front of them, you watch the porn, and then go into the bathroom and masterbate. i told him that we did that in france. and he was like so let me get this straight.. you masterbated in a bathroom in france? AWESOME. i was like oh geez lol. but when i got off the computer, he said night babe. and he hasn't been saying that. :) i asked him about him and amanda i was like are you guys gonna go back out? and he said possibly, to which i answered, awesome. i didnt want him to know that i dont want them to.
emili said when they had all gone to cedar point, john was really cool. she was like i can see why you like him. hehe :)
LORD OF THE RINGS TWO TOWERS COMES OUT TODAY!!! I HAVE TO GO GET IT!! NOW
its so sweet dude.
saba comes home tomorrow.
ashley w, ashley g, and i , all went to newark today, to see ashley g's sister kelly. i hadnt seen her in so long. i missed her. then we went to the petstore. i want this miniture pincher mix. it looks like my dog nikki but with darker coloring. it was so cute. but i have 4 dogs. and my mom said no more. lol.
well i think im gonna go. ill update later.
ahh i like john so much.
i've crawled home from worse than this
my thoughts at 05:41 pm by fullcollapse
Monday, August 25, 2003
[ the runway lights are the deepest blue ]
my thoughts at 02:23 pm by fullcollapse
[ if you're a dream, then come true ]
if i could, i would wish it all away.
make it all be in the past,
instead of sitting here face to face.
why is it so hard, to forget your face,
all i want is to have an empty space in my heart,
where you used to be. i want to wake up,
and not think about you.
but its so damn hard.
first loves, are always the worst.
but why me?
why now?
why you?
yeah random i know
a convo between dave and i follows...
x2ndDaVeX: why do you confuse yourself?
Auto response from rubbeR DucKie159: :'( why do they make me so confused?
rubbeR DucKie159: u think i confuse myself?
rubbeR DucKie159: other people are the ones who confuse me
x2ndDaVeX: why so?
rubbeR DucKie159: i dunno. i just dont understand anyone anymore
rubbeR DucKie159: not even my best friends
x2ndDaVeX: ummmm alrite?
rubbeR DucKie159: what
x2ndDaVeX: how do you "not understand people"
x2ndDaVeX: your gettin all emo lately
rubbeR DucKie159: its not like i want to be that way
rubbeR DucKie159: its just...grrrr... i dunno
x2ndDaVeX: u seem depressed all the time
rubbeR DucKie159: because i am. but i dont want to be
rubbeR DucKie159: i'm usually ok when i'm out doing stuff with my friends. but then i go home and i'm like blah
x2ndDaVeX: no no no
x2ndDaVeX: friday night
rubbeR DucKie159: friday night. i was just down because john and amanda. and shaun has been ditching me, because of patty. and he wouldnt even talk to me much anymore. thats why i was like that friday
x2ndDaVeX: whats wrong w/ john and amanda
rubbeR DucKie159: nothing is wrong with them. its just john and amanda. i hate it seeing him with girls.
x2ndDaVeX: omg
x2ndDaVeX: kaitlin
rubbeR DucKie159: dont start
rubbeR DucKie159: dont i dont wanna hear it
x2ndDaVeX: and you wonder why i don't ever want to get involved
x2ndDaVeX: dude i will not lie to you, i like you
x2ndDaVeX: and more than a little
x2ndDaVeX: but i could never EVER deal with the john thing
rubbeR DucKie159: i know
rubbeR DucKie159: but i do like you too. but see i mess everything up. no wait. john messes everything up, well indirectly anyways
x2ndDaVeX: why do you still like him?
rubbeR DucKie159: i have absolutly no fucking idea
rubbeR DucKie159: hmmmm
x2ndDaVeX: ...
rubbeR DucKie159: ...
isnt that just great? nope
and will you tell all your friends, you've got your gun to my head
my thoughts at 12:20 pm by fullcollapse
[ this is what living like this does ]
yeah so today i woke up at like 9? and went to sleepp until 9:30. woke up took my dogs out. and went back to bed til 11. lol. i was like why am i up so early? lo
yeah so i didnt drink that much last night. dave called me a lush. grrr... and then he got offline and i wanted to talk to him. and now he won't talk to me until i admit that i'm a lush. man he makes me so mad sometimes...
blah so i dunno what i am going to do today. i wanted to do something with erin. but i dunno yet. all i know is i am staying at ashley's tonight. she told me she is going to make me tell john how i feel. too bad he already knows. and i am not going to bring it up because he likes other people.
and chris told erin that dave ( like the dave she is in love with ) and amanda had sex. not the amanda with john. but this other amanda. mike's sister. at least thats what i think . it makes the most sense but yeah. well i am going to go . i have to try and get dave to talk to me. grrr
stop it come on you know i can't help it.
my thoughts at 11:27 am by fullcollapse
Sunday, August 24, 2003
[ pull this thread, as i walk away ]
yeah i just got home. its a little after eleven.
megan and i went to see whitney do some color guard stuff. then megan whitney and i went to brooke's house for like an hour. then dropped whitney off, when to get joe megans boyfriend from work , then went to megans then we went to mcdonalds then we went back to megans. that was one fun night.
lol i don't really have much to say now. so i think i'll go for the night. unless something exciting happens. hahaha
well i was wrong, something well it wasnt really exciting but yeah . it happened... i have played relationship counsler to ashley and josh. they are retarded for each other. everything would be great if they changed their relationship a little bit. i can see where josh gets annoyed, but ash needs to learn that she cant always get her way.
and then i helped erin with her relationship problems with dave ( not my dave. omg i called him my dave ahhh ) erin and i are in the same boat. and i can only help her out so far, because theres a point that i dont even know how to get past. if i did, i wouldnt write about how i love john like i do in this blog. well i would, but it would have a different take. ok well im gonna go
ok im back. so erin and i have decided we are not going thru this alone. we are going thru it together because we are in the same postition. tomorrow we are hanging out.
tomorrow night im staying the night at ashley's.
and right now i'm drinking wine. and when i'm done its on to the beer. yum. i'm drowning my sorrows. i know its not going to help me. but i can't help it. maybe steph is right. im going to be an alcoholic.
ricky was drunk last night and was talking to my away message. he said he is only happy when hes drunk. and i think thats how i am too..... hmm well bring on the alcohol. later.
if you want to destroy my sweater....
my thoughts at 11:21 pm by fullcollapse
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[ called ] Kaitlin
[ remix ] Kate, Kiddo, Katie ( to a select few anyways )
[ blows out the candles ] May 25
[ candles ] 16
[ brushes ] dark brown hair with red highlighs
[ sees the world thru ] brown eyes
[ stands at ] 5'1"
[ ear candy ] Finch, The Used, Taking Back Sunday, Further Seems Forever, Thursday, Evanescence, Saves The Day, Something Corporate, Dashboard, Juliana Theory, Weezer, AFI, Korn, Taproot, TRUSTcompany, Adema, Saliva, Day Before Disaster ( much love to you guys ), 2nd Day ( i love ya guys! ) much more...
[ latitude, longitude ] Reynoldsburg, Ohio
[ lives for ] shaun. but i'm still in love with John...complicated i know  the true love of my life lol
Now it has occurred and I can't escape, from these memories that run so deep, prevented of everything devoid of sleep, and my attempt at deletion remains incomplete.
Contact Me
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